Family Resources
Kids and Anxiety: The Parents' Role in Treatment PDF Print E-mail

Teaching families how to help kids fight back

 

Published February 26, 2013

By Linda Spiro, MS
The Child Mind Institute

When you're the parent of an anxious child, you assume that your role is to provide reassurance, comfort, and a sense of safety. Of course you want to support and protect a child who is distressed and, as much as possible, avert her suffering. But in fact, when it comes to a child with an anxiety disorder like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, trying to shield her from things that trigger her fears can be counterproductive for the child. By doing what comes naturally to a parent, you are inadvertently accommodating the disorder, and allowing it to take over your child's life.

That's why parents have a surprisingly important role in treating anxiety disorders in children. The gold standard in pediatric OCD treatment is a form of cognitive-behavioral therapy called exposure and response prevention. The therapy involves "exposing" the child to her anxieties in a gradual and systematic way, so she no longer fears and avoids those objects or situations; "response prevention" means she is not allowed to perform a ritual to manage fears.  Because parents become so involved in their children's OCD, research has shown that including parents in treatment and assigning them as "co-therapists" improves effectiveness.

In therapy the child, parents, and therapist create a "fear hierarchy" in which they collaboratively identify all of the feared situations, rate them on a scale of 0-10, and tackle them one at a time. For example, a child with fears about germs and getting sick would repeatedly confront "contaminated" situations and objects until her fear subsides and she can tolerate the activity. The child would start with a low-level anxiety item, such as touching clean towels, and build to more difficult items such as holding half-eaten food from the trash. Response prevention involves preventing the child from performing the behavior that serves to decrease the anxiety. For example, a boy with a fear of germs would have to abstain from washing his hands after touching the doorknob, or the garbage. Through gradual exposure he learns that what he "fears" usually does not come true, so that new learning can take place. It also teaches him that he can tolerate uncomfortable feelings.

Much of the work in CBT involves practice outside of sessions, requiring parents to participate in the treatment. Children are assigned "homework" and asked to continue practicing facing their fears in a variety of settings. Since exposure and response prevention evokes anxiety and requires considerable follow-up, family involvement and support is essential. For a child with a fear of contamination, the parents may encourage him to do the dishes, or to become a "human vacuum cleaner," which is what clinicians call picking up small scraps of garbage from the carpet. A child with fears of vomiting might write a comic about "Vomit Man" in session with his therapist, and then practice reciting it aloud to his parents.

But parents have a bigger role than backup when it comes to practicing exposures at home. Since OCD can be a crippling disorder for children, relatives often become excessively involved in a child's symptoms in order to help the child function. For instance, many children with OCD, as well as other anxiety disorders, seek constant reassurance from family members. Reassurance-seeking is used by children to manage fears, and many parents provide it, even though it's excessive, in order to make their child feel better in the moment. Reassurance-seeking is one of the many forms of "family accommodation." This phenomenon refers to the manner in which family members participate in the rituals the child uses to manage his anxiety, as well as how they modify personal and family routines in order to accommodate him.

Many children suffering from OCD are unable to tolerate uncertainty, and they ask their parents to provide them with definitive answers. For example, it is not uncommon to hear an anxious child ask their parent "Am I going to get sick from eating this?" or "Is everything going to be okay?" although the answer may have already been provided several times. Parents can easily become frustrated because they feel like no matter how many times their child's questions are answered, they are never satisfied. Answering their child's questions becomes an endless cycle, and the child never learns that he can indeed tolerate the uncertainty.

There are many other forms of accommodation.  Families may stop taking vacations, going out to restaurants, or even change the way they speak in order to avoid anxiety-provoking situations for their child. They may avoid particular names, numbers, colors, and sounds that trigger anxiety. "OCD can be very overwhelming to families and can really interfere with how families can normally function," said Dr. Jerry Bubrick, Director of the Anxiety and Mood Disorders Center. "The family decisions are made to accommodate the anxiety, rather than the best interests of the family."

To the family of a patient we'll call John, a 12-year old boy who was treated at the Child Mind Institute for OCD, this is all too familiar. John had fears about contamination and gaining weight and thus he avoided any food that was considered "unhealthy," took up to seven showers a day, and didn't play with his siblings or hug his parents in the belief that they were contaminated. "We didn't go out to a restaurant for months," said John's mother. "He didn't have any friends come over. We didn't have any of our friends come over. Our house was a safe place."

But accommodating John's anxiety didn't stop it from taking over more and more of his life. John's mother described the peak of his OCD as an extremely challenging time for her family. "It was really hard because it's like we had lost our son. He was so trapped in the OCD. We couldn't physically touch him. There was no spontaneity anymore. We couldn't even sit across the table and talk anymore."

While the parents who accommodate their child are well intentioned, family accommodation is known to reinforce their child's symptoms. Since anxiety is maintained through avoidance, family members who accommodate their child are causing the symptoms to become even more fixed. "Before I knew what accommodation was, I thought I was helping," said John's mother. "I was heartbroken when I found out the definition of accommodation. I was devastated to know I was feeding the OCD instead of helping John."

Naming the child's OCD is one way to reduce the stigma associated with it, and makes the child feel like the anxiety is not who she is. For example, a child may name her OCD "The Bully" or "The Witch." John's mother continues: "Divorcing the OCD from John has been huge. Now the family has a common enemy, everyone is in on the battle. Before it was an unnamed invader. Now we know who we're fighting."

Through treatment, parents learn new ways to respond when their children get "stuck" and how to encourage their child to rely on coping skills or to "boss back" their anxiety, instead of relying on their parents to help them through it. The children eventually become much more independent, and the parents may start to realize that anxiety is no longer in charge of their families.

Grandparents and siblings can also become involved in family accommodation, although they are not typically included in treatment as regularly as parents are. "Since grandparents and siblings are more a part of the child's outside world, they may be more likely to accommodate because thy want to maintain peace," said Dr. Bubrick. "They should be a involved in the treatment so they don't undermine it."

Through treatment, family members learn to help their children face their fears instead of avoiding them. Instead of comforting the child, it becomes the parent's job to remind him of the skills he has developed in treatment and to use them in the moment. "Now I'm helping John and I'm not feeding the OCD," said John's mom. A lot of that is letting John know that he has strength to fight the OCD. Reminding him of the strategies instead of making the world better for him."

 
Are there any colleges with good services for kids with ADHD? PDF Print E-mail

You can find programs for everything from a gap year to a more supportive traditional college experience 

 

Ruth Lee, MEd, ET/P

Senior Educational and Learning Specialist and Director of Clinical Outreach
CHILD MIND INSTITUTE

Q:  My daughter has ADHD and is a B minus student. She struggles in school and has poor executive functioning skills. She will be looking for colleges next year. Are there any that have particularly good services for kids with ADHD?

A:  There are several colleges with especially well-developed programs for kids with ADHD. The oldest is Curry College in Massachusetts. Students accepted to Curry can apply to the Program for Advancement of Learning, which offers assistance to students who have ADHD, executive function issues, and other learning differences. Students in the PAL program take classes at Curry while also receiving individualized academic support from PAL faculty members who work with them on study skills like organization and time management. Some of these classes will be for credit so that students are motivated to keep participating.

Another well-known program is the Strategic Alternative Learning Techniques Center at the University of Arizona. Students need to apply to both the university and SALT, and pay for them both. Students are assigned a strategic learning specialist who creates a learning plan specifically designed for them. SALT also provides tutoring and facilitates any necessary psychological services.

Landmark College in Vermont is a two-year college exclusively for kids with ADHD, dyslexia, and other learning disabilities. Students receive associate's degrees in general studies, liberal arts, or business administration, and most move on to a four-year degree program elsewhere. Landmark offers small class sizes, structured study environments, and access to assistive technology. And since the entire student body has learning differences, you can depend on the faculty and community being supportive and sensitive to your daughter's needs.

Another interesting program is the Thames Academy at Mitchell College in Connecticut. Mitchell actually offers a gap year program, or what they call a "pre-college transitional experience." Students in the Thames Academy are living on campus with the other students and taking regular college courses while also taking some specialized workshops they'll find helpful—study skills, writing skills, organizational skills, even money management. It's a nice introduction to college life and at the end of the program students can have earned up to 16 transferable college credits. Then they can continue on through Mitchell or go somewhere else.

That's just to name a few; there are many more. Hofstra University in New York, American University in Washington DC, the University of Denver, Marist College in Poughkeepsie, New York, the University of Connecticut, and Lynn University in Florida all have excellent programs. One great resource that I recommend to families exploring all their options is the book Peterson's Colleges With Programs for Students With Learning Disabilities or Attention Deficit Disorders. It covers everything from the specific programs that help kids with learning differences to financial aid. Research on the Internet will be helpful here, too.

 
Mood Disorders and Teenage Girls PDF Print E-mail

Why they are more vulnerable than boys, and what signs and symptoms you should look for

 

Ron J. Steingard, MD

Associate Medical Director; Senior Pediatric Psychopharmacologist
CHILD MIND INSTITUTE

 

Anxiety and depression occur in both genders, but by the teenage years, girls are much more at risk than boys. Before puberty, the prevalence of mood disorders is about the same in boys and girls—3 to 5%. But by mid-adolescence girls are more than twice as likely to be diagnosed with a mood disorder as boys, with the prevalence at adult levels, 14 to 20%. 

Why such a big disparity in mood disorders? We know from looking at brain scans that there are differences in the way girls and boys process emotional stimuli. Girls mature, in terms of their emotional recognition, faster than boys—and that sensitivity could make them more vulnerable to depression and anxiety.

It's plausible that that these gender differences around the time of puberty can be traced to evolutionary advantages: Girls may be wired to tune in earlier to emotional stimuli because they were advantageous for their role in nurturing babies; for young men, given their roles as hunters and tribe protectors, emotional responsiveness might have been an important attribute not to have.

The argument that the differences in emotional sensitivity are hard-wired is underscored by the fact that even as women's lives have clearly changed—even as there are many more women living professional, competitive, Type-A lives comparable to those of their male counterparts—the rate of depression in girls and women hasn't dropped. Even the participation of far more girls in sports and other intense physical activities hasn't reduced the rate of depression, though physical activity is important to emotional wellbeing, and one effective way to help jumpstart recovery in someone who's depressed.   

 

Symptoms of depression in teenagers

In adolescent depression, the thing people tend to notice first is withdrawal, or when the teenager stops doing things she usually likes to do. There might be other changes in her affect, including sadness or irritability. Or in her behavior, including, appetite, energy level, sleep patterns and academic performance. If several of these symptoms are present, be vigilant about the possibility of depression.

This is especially important because by the time family members and other people around a teenager note her lack of interest in most things, or what we call anhedonia, she's usually been depressed for some time. Depression is an internalizing disorder, i.e. one that disturbs a patient's emotional life, rather than an externalizing one, which manifests in the form of disruptive or problematic behavior. As such, it takes a while for not only others to recognize it, but often the patient herself to realize that her thinking, and emotional responses, are disturbed. 

Note that there are actually two kinds of depression. In major depressive disorder—the most familiar form of depression—the cluster of symptoms that define depression occur in what may be severe episodes that tend to last from seven to nine months.  But there is also another form of depression called dysthymic disorder, in which the symptoms are milder, but they last longer, measured in years. So while the experience of dysthymia may be less debilitating for the child at any given moment, the risk is that there is more accrued damage, more time in which the child is kept out of the healthy development process.

Symptoms of anxiety

Anxiety is a normal adaptive system that lets the body know when it's in danger. However, a youngster's anxiety is maladaptive if it interferes with her ability to function; she withdraws from activities because she's too scared or anxious; the anxiety is out of proportion to the situation; and it doesn't go away with reassurance.

A teenager who has been anxious since childhood may have a lifestyle built around her anxieties: the activities and environments she chooses and those she rules out, the friends she is comfortable with, the expectations and limitations she has trained her family, friends, and teachers to accept. That's why it's more challenging to treat anxiety the longer a child has lived with it, and developed unhealthy coping mechanisms to manage it.

Why early intervention is critical

When a child is depressed or anxious, her suffering isn't the only reason it's important to get help.

In addition to the disorders themselves, there are add-on effects that may cause lifelong issues. With depression comes low energy and poor concentration, two factors that are likely to have a significant impact on social and academic functioning. Anxiety, and the withdrawal that may accompany it, is likewise a detriment to social and academic progress.

It's easy to see the effects of poor academic functioning: falling behind in school undermines a child's confidence and self-image, and can impact her future if it's prolonged. But social learning is just as critical as academic learning in childhood and adolescence. This is a time when a girl would normally be learning such things as how to be a daughter, a sister, a friend; with either depression or anxiety, she may miss or fall behind on these critical kinds of learning. These deficits not only put her behind her peers, but in themselves they can compound her depression or anxiety.

Other disorders

It's important to understand that anxiety and depression often occur in the same teenager, and may need to be treated as two separate disorders. Anxiety is more likely to occur without depression than depression without anxiety. It may be that depression leads to anxiety—the negative state of mind of a depressed teenager lends itself to uncertainty. If you're not feeling good about yourself, or confident, or secure, or safe, anxiety may find fertile ground. It may also be because the regions of the brain affected by anxiety and depression are close together, and mutually affected.

Two serious problems that are directly associated with teenage depression and anxiety are suicidal thinking (or behavior), and substance abuse. Suicide is the third leading cause of death among adolescents and young adults aged 15 to 24, and we know that most kids who commit suicide have been suffering from a psychiatric illness. Especially at risk are teenagers who hide their depression and anxiety from parents and friends. That's why it's important to be alert to signs of these disorders—withdrawal, changes in school performance, eating habits, sleeping patterns, things she enjoys doing—even when teenagers aren't forthcoming about how they feel. Similarly, the majority of teenagers who develop substance abuse problems also have a psychiatric disorder, including, most commonly, anxiety or depression, which is another important reason to get treatment in a timely way.  

Two other problems associated with teenage girls—that is, occurring with greater frequency in girls than boys—are eating disorders and self injury, or cutting. While both of these can overlap with depression, the common assumption that they're caused by depression is not borne out by research. They have different etiologies and reasons for being. Girls who have eating disorders often show no signs of depression; indeed, they are often very high-functioning, competitive girls who have a distorted body image, but not the symptoms of depression. Similarly, self-injurious behavior is a kind of dysfunctional coping mechanism kids get into to alleviate emotional pain, or numbness they've developed as a result of that pain. It can occur with, and be complicated by, a mood disorder, but isn't thought to be a result of the latter. Antidepressants, the medication of choice for mood disorders, don't usually alleviate eating disorders or cutting, which receive different kinds of treatment.

Treatments for anxiety and depression 

Fortunately, early involvement of health care professionals can shorten the period of illness and increase the likelihood of her not missing important life lessons.

The most common treatment a mental health professional is apt to use is some form of cognitive behavioral therapy, and depending on how young the child is, it may involve teaching the parents as well. Cognitive behavioral therapy is based on the idea that a person suffering from a mood disorder is trapped in a negative pattern of thought. Depressed kids tend to evaluate themselves negatively, interpret the actions of others in a negative way, and assume the darkest possible outcome of events. Similarly, a child suffering from anxiety is overwhelmed by fears of negative outcomes long before events occur. In CBT, we teach sufferers to challenge those negative thoughts, to recognize the pattern and train themselves to think outside it. And in many cases we see real improvement in teenagers with depression and anxiety.

If the anxiety or depression is moderate to severe, treatment may involve medications such as antidepressants. For both anxiety and depression, a combination of psychotherapy and medication usually works better than either alone.

 
Caring for Kids After a School Shooting CHILD MIND INSTITUTE PDF Print E-mail

VIDEO

CHILD MIND INSTITUTE

 
Spotting Sandy’s Lasting Effects on Kids PDF Print E-mail

Dr. Jamie Howard talks about symptoms of traumatic response to the hurricane

Harry Kimball

Senior Writer
CHILD MIND INSTITUTE

In response to the devastation—both physical and emotionalwrought by Hurricane Sandy, last week Dr. Jamie Howard gave a talk about ways to keep children (and adults) psychologically healthy in the wake of this traumatic event. Along the way she covered the clinical diagnoses of acute stress disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder, and hit on a crucial pointthese disorders cannot be diagnosed until after a traumatic event, and for many people in our area Sandy "isn't over yet."

For people struggling without heat and power, without access to clean water or hot food, this event continues. And though continuing trauma doesn't guarantee a bad response down the road, Dr. Howard said, it increases the risk. That's why these suggestions for mitigating the psychological damage of Sandy are so crucialand why it is heartbreaking that the people who need them don't have ready access to them. So while families work to weather this ongoing storm, we must work to end the trauma and begin recoveryemotionally and physically.

 
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